Have you ever had a dream where you are falling off a building, whether you slipped or were pushed off? You wake up right before you hit the ground sweating, panting, heart beating a mile a minute. How did you feel? What thoughts went through your head? Was your whole day affected because of this dream?
One of the emotions you feel is fear. Fear is a tricky bastard. It can either force us to take action or it can be so paralyzing you can barely move. It sneaks up on you, takes over your dreams and eventually your life. It can steal your joy, making you afraid to try new things thus keeping you stuck. Now isn’t fear a mean ol’ thing. Not quite.
What I mean by that is remember I said fear can either hold you hostage or propel you forward. For example you may be afraid to move to a different state for a new job but the fear of NOT taking the job and wondering what if forces you to take that job and put things in place to ensure success. In this case the fear of wondering what if propelled you forward; you came up with a plan and executed. This is having a healthy relationship with fear. Instead of letting it hold you back you gain more knowledge, skills, or resources to still accomplish a goal. You have now changed your perspective on fear.
We all experience fear at some point of our lives and it’s usually at a turning point. Starting a new job, moving, starting college, having children, starting a business. I personally wrestle with fear and doubt everyday. I stepped out and started this blog not knowing how it would go, wondering if people would like it. Instead of letting it hold me still, like it did for a while, I decided to break the chain and step out on faith. As long as I did what I enjoyed and wrote what I believed could help other women like me, that’s all that mattered. I CHANGED MY PERSPECTIVE ABOUT FEAR. Was it easy? No. But like the saying goes nothing worth having comes easy. You have to fight for it even if the fight is against ourselves. We are usually our biggest critic. What we think won’t work or people won’t like, people are actually waiting on it. You’ll never recognize you had a gift all along if you let fear become you.
Instead of letting fear overcome you and your dreams, instead of fighting against fear, embrace it as a part of you and walk beside it. Acknowledge that fear is here but so is hope. Can you guess what is behind that hope? Self confidence. The confidence to believe in yourself and your abilities to make it happen. The confidence to step out on faith and put it in God’s/the universe’s hands. The confidence to believe that what is for you will be. And it will be. I recommended reading the book Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. It is a memoir of sorts that speaks about her experiences with always saying no because of the fear of failure and judgement. She too is a self proclaimed introvert who chooses to stay behind the scenes. An encounter with her sister one Thanksgiving changes her perspective on fear and always saying no. This is her turning point.
So let me know in the comments below what fear(s) is holding you back? How do you plan to overcome them? Is there a book, podcast, or motivational speaker that’s helped you on your journey?
As always,
Be You Confidently
