Do you feel the relationship with yourself was put on the backburner since having children? Since being in a relationship? If so, I have 7 steps to improve your relationship with yourself.

Learn to fall in love with you. Build up the confidence to Be You Confidently.

Why Having a Relationship With Yourself is Important

Half of moms lose themselves after having a baby and struggle with finding time for them. Having a family is a big responsibility that requires sacrifices, but you should still be able to have alone time and pursue your dreams.

Your life does not have to stop just because you had children. Your happiness still matters, and you should be striving to live out your purpose.

We are taught even as little girls that we are to sacrifice for the happiness of others. But what about our happiness?

Get to know yourself. What you like or don’t like, what you are passionate about, and how to be better person.

Having a relationship with yourself is important because it sets the tone for:

The state of your self-esteem
Your ability to know what you want
Your ability to set healthy boundaries because you know what you will or will not accept
Knowing what you need and how to refill your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual tanks
Doing what it takes to make you happy instead of relying on other people to make you happy.
Quality relationships with others

What hurts your relationship with yourself?

Putting others before you
Lacking strong boundaries
Staying in toxic relationships and situations
Talking bad about yourself
Playing small so others can shine
Not being your authentic self for fear of offending others
Depression, anxiety, trauma, and/or PTSD
Not knowing who you are

All of these examples can hurt your relationship with yourself. The common thread is not to put other people’s happiness before your own if it makes you unhappy. We stifle our own growth playing to other people’s rules.

You make the rules when it comes to designing your life. You get to add, subtract, and multiply the type of people you allow in your life.

I know it can be hard to say no, but if saying yes does more harm than good something must change.

How A Self-Defeating Mindset is Toxic

This negative self-defeating mindset leading to a negative self-fulfilling prophecy will only hold you back. You must acknowledge what you really want and fall into that. You are deserving of what will serve YOU.

Do not let doubt and past negative experiences make you miss out on your blessing. We must stop expecting the worst to happen. You cannot live life in FEAR.

Fear is a hindrance. Fear is betraying. Fear is self-defeating the mind. Fear will have you constantly living with regrets.

Watch this video for more information on a self-defeating mindset.

7 Steps to Improve Your Relationship With Yourself

Learn to forgive yourself!

You may have forgiven others, but have you forgiven yourself? Not being able to forgive yourself keeps you stuck in a low vibration. You are more likely to allow negative thoughts (such as “I’m not good enough. I will never be happy.”) to cloud you. Forgiving others is great but forgiving yourself is even better and brings a healthy relationship with yourself closer.

Get to the root of why you feel disconnected from yourself!

When did you start to lose yourself? Was there a specific event or person that has you doubting yourself? Take some time to figure out what has you disconnected from yourself. Could be time, lack of space, or too many responsibilities.

Start your day on a positive frequency!

Have a routine that starts your day on a positive note. It should increase your energy, not deplete it. I start my day by laying in bed and meditating while visualizing everything I want to have done for the day.

The Morning Ritual That Leaves You Feeling Awake, Refreshed, and Productive

Set aside time for you to accomplish your goals!

Research has been shown to say that people who set and accomplish goals are happier. Feeding your sense of accomplishment boosts your self-esteem and confidence. Confidence is necessary to go after bigger and better goals.

5. Be Kind to yourself!

It can be easy to talk down on yourself. Feeling like you don’t measure up or you failed. The failure is not realizing how amazing you truly are. We are all unique, made in God’s image therefore we must hold ourselves to a high standard but also understand we make mistakes. When you make a mistake, it is not the end of the world. More than likely, it can be corrected or still produce a positive outcome. So be kind to yourself with positive words, understanding, and compassion.

6. Let her know who’s boss!

Getting to the point where you control your thoughts and not the other way around, takes some work. That is because we are programed to think or speak negatively about ourselves and our people. You strive to replace one negative thought with a positive one each day. Eventually it will get easier. Shine that light on your inner boss and let her know you got her back through this change. You can choose to be unhappy, negative and self-sabotaging; or you can choose to be happy, charismatic, and positively confident.

7. Let go of the self-defeating mindset!

When you think these negative thoughts, you start to believe them. Once you believe them you start moving different. These actions start to align with the negative self-defeating thoughts making them true.

When you develop a loving and fulfilling relationship with yourself, you set the tone for how your outside relationships will go. If you cannot love yourself, others will not either. You teach people how to treat you and the best teaching is through our actions.

Improve your relationship with yourself through building your confidence and self-esteem, finding time for self-care, and learning to love yourself despite your flaws.

What is your favorite thing to do alone? Leave a comment below.

As always,

Be You Confidently

Need support, education, and accountability on your healing journey? Join my Intuitive Woman Coaching program for empowerment, healing, and learning to love your authentic self. Learn to listen to the woman within and lead with your heart. Learn more about the program here.