Would you like to know the simple secret to how to reignite passion in your relationships?
Since becoming a mom in 2014 and again in 2017, 2018 and 2019, my life has completely changed. Not only is my body looking different, but I have new stressors. These new little humans now depend on me for A LOT. Sometimes I feel unworthy of the job, yet it is mines to make the best of.
Keeping or reigniting the passion in my relationship with their father is sometimes low on my list. Not to mention I don’t have much practice being in a relationship for more than 2 years. With this guy it has been 7, sheesh.
It is important to keep the fire and the passion between couples burning. Learning how to reignite passion in your relationship is not hard. It is the little things that make a big difference. Once the children grow up, they begin to have their own lives and no longer need you hovering. So, where does that leave you and your mate? Well if you put your relationship on the back burner you run the risk of looking at each other 25 years later confused as to who they are. If you nurture your relationship you will develop a deeper connection.
Benefits of Reconnecting
- You deepen your level of communication. You revisit what you like about your partner and what made you fall in love in the first place. You both also get to a place of understanding on things you don’t like.
- You feel a sense of comfort knowing you are still one. Learn to be comfortable with your partner as should they create an environment of comfort.
- Realizing your common goals and to keep working towards them.
- Building or rebuilding trust
- Keeping your foundation of love strong
How Reigniting Passion Should Meet 6 Basic Human Needs
We all have basic needs that should be met within a relationship. When it comes to learning how to reignite the passion within your relationship, advice should cover these human needs. Masculine energy and feminine energy must work in synchronicity, balancing each other. This list comes from international speaker Tony Robbins website. You can learn more and go more in depth here.
- Certainty– the need to be comfortable, enjoy pleasure, feel sexy and avoid pain. Masculine energy should be emotionally present, open, and honest. Feminine energy shows love unconditionally and refrains from withdrawing when things go wrong.
- Uncertainty– the need for spontaneity, surprises, and variety. Masculine energy can initiate surprise dates and gifts. Feminine energy can be more provocative and surprising such as dressing in sexy lingerie or nightwear or doing a surprise lap dance. I bought this nightgown from amazon and love how soft and silky it feels. It makes me feel so feminine and my man likes the way it fits my form.
- Significant– feeling important, needed, wanted and special. Show your partner how important they are to you. Focus on being their number one fan.
- Love and connection– understand how they view the world. How do they receive and show love? Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? How people show and receive love are split into five categories: Words of Affirmations, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Gifts. You and your partner can take the test to see what your primary love language is here.
- Growth– emotional, intellectual, and spiritual development are needed to rise to our highest potential. Take the time and do the work of understanding each other and find innovative ways to make it work.
If you are not growing, you are dying.
- Contribution and giving– giving is the secret to wealth and fulfillment. Give without seeking something in return and focus on appreciation.
Photo by Jasmine Carter from Pexels
There are some things you must evaluate before you jump into trying to reignite the passion. First you must commit. Will you take this relationship seriously and do what it takes to make it work? What do you truly want? What are you willing to do and sacrifice to make your partner happy? Commit to working through conflicts and communicate openly. Second, appreciate your differences and understand how you need to complement each other to thrive. You don’t need a clone; you need an exciting partner who challenges you. Finally, common values and goals are important in a relationship; common needs and personalities are not.
What if the trust is gone? I no longer trust being vulnerable.
Well there are 5 Steps to Regain Trust:
- Commit to putting your partner’s needs first and declare absolute commitment no matter what.
- Create heartfelt emotions. Hold each other and connect until negative feelings are replaced with love and gratitude.
- Share your true feelings and listen to your partner’s thoughts carefully without judging, correcting, or fixing. Accept their feedback with love.
- Not enough shared interests, experiences, and goals. Align with your partner’s needs so you connect with a common vision.
- Always end tough conversations with an act of love-hug, promise or kiss. If you cannot do this, repeat the previous stages until you are at peace with each other.
Here Are Ways to Reignite Passion In Your Relationship
- Change your pattern of initiating sex
- Hold hands more often, touch, hugging and touching releases oxytocin the same chemical released during orgasm.
- Allow tension to build through foreplay, share fantasies, change locations and make sex more romantic.
- Separate sexual intimacy from routine. Avoid talking about relationship problems and household chores in the bedroom.
- Carve out time to spend with your partner
- Participate in affectionate touch, such as massages
- Practice being more emotionally vulnerable. Share your innermost fantasies, wishes, and desires with your partner
- Maintain a sense of curiosity about sexual intimacy- look at sex as an opportunity to get to know each other over time
- Vary the kind of sex you have. Shake things up. Try different positions, different locations, be more spontaneous.
- Make sex a priority
- Give each other space. Find yourself a hooby or hang out with family/friends. Take a girls trip. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
- Take care of yourself, it can be easy to lose your sense of self and individuality. Find a hobby, new goals, or some individual interests. When you are happy with yourself, you set the standard on how others love you. I wrote a post on 10 ways to find time for self-care.
- Burn your resentments. Sit down together with the intention to heal, move forward and not dredge up the past.
- Show your partner you appreciate them with simple thank you’s. Gratitude is one of the most important positive emotions for thriving relationships. No one feels in love all the time. Gratitude is one way to have a positive attitude about life. You can read other ways to have a positive mindset.
Conclusion
I don’t know about you but I am busting inside ready to try all these tips to get my man. Relationships are work and not easy. You have to be willing to receive love AND give it. Selfishness has no place in relationships with other people. Keep the love that caught you alive. Reignite the passion in your relationship and welcome happiness.
As always,
Be You Confidently
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