How do you know it is time for shadow work? The signs can be subtle for beginners unless you are aware of what to look for. Even then these signs are different for each person as we have different experiences in life.
There are some common signs that make it more noticeable. When these emotions or thoughts come up you may not know why you feel this way. That is why we must first become aware. Once you are aware, you can begin to process what you feel and think.
First of All, What is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is a process. It can not be rushed or done overnight. Trust me I tried and failed miserably.
Shadow work is a philosophy created by a renowned psychologist named Dr. Carl Jung. In this philosophy of shadow work, he stated that we all have a light side (consciousness) and a shadow side (unconscious or hidden).
The light side of self is the parts of us that we show to the world. It is usually all our best qualities that fit the social norm.
The shadow self is the parts of us that we keep hidden whether consciously or unconsciously due to trauma. That shadow is where all of our unconscious habits, patterns, addictions, subconscious beliefs and trauma lie.
For example, if you loved to paint but were told your paintings lacked creativity, you may stop painting and push your love for painting into your shadow. Our shadow is created during childhood as we repress parts of ourselves in response to trauma or as a destructive coping mechanism.
When we haven’t dealt with our emotional scars they bubble up within the shadow as depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, rage, narcissism, abusive behavior, projection, disassociation, inability to form secure attachment and healthy relationships, addiction, and codependency.
Does Everyone Have a Shadow?
Yes, everyone has a shadow. It is not just negative emotions or traits but positive ones too that we can’t consciously see due to our beliefs tainted by trauma. What is in that shadow varies from person to person. Also, those who have pushed down more of themselves will have a darker and denser shadow.
The thing about our society is there is always someone telling the next person how to live. That breeds shame, guilt, and a need of acceptance. This need to be accepted by your family, friends, or peers can lead you to hiding certain things about yourself that you may enjoy.
At some point everyone must do shadow work. Our society normalizes toxic behavior because so many of us have unresolved trauma. This is how generational curses or karma is formed and passed down through family. Therefore, we keep attracting the same negative patterns because we have come to believe this is what love looks like.
Watch this video How a self-defeating mindset is toxic
How You Know It Is Time for Shadow Work
Unresolved trauma caused by mental, emotional, or physical abuse leads the shadow to grow darker and denser. Therefore, it can be harder to recognize within when it is time for shadow work.
The first step to working with our shadow, instead of shutting it out, is to be aware of it. Then understand where it came from. Is it in response to someone else or a coping mechanism? Remember, when we create beliefs in response to our negative experiences the shadow manifests itself into our conscious world.
This can look like:
- Constantly being depressed but don’t know why.
- A lack of boundaries.
- Low self-esteem.
- Allowing toxic people to remain in your life.
- Thinking abuse is love or love is abuse.
- Not understanding what abuse is.
- Getting upset at what others do or say. This is projection of our own insecurities that we do not like to see mirrored.
- Repeating old patterns in relationships, work environment, and/or financial status.
- Feeling blocked and stagnant.
- Irritation and frustration at the people you love. You could subsequently push them way to “avoid getting hurt”.
These are some ways in which we can be aware that our shadow has grown, and it is time for shadow work. The purpose of shadow work is to integrate our light and shadow self to become whole again.
Recognize that our past does not have to be our future. If you are having a hard time letting that past go, it may be time for shadow work. In doing so you acknowledge your shadow self, your traumas, and the negative behavior patterns that resulted from it.
How to Do Shadow Work
The purpose of shadow work is not to destroy the shadow. It is a part of you and made you who you are, both the good and bad. The purpose of shadow work is to acknowledge your shadow self and work to heal from unresolved trauma and abuse.
This process can be scary because you are putting yourself up to a mirror. Shadow work forces you to look at yourself, your negative traits, relive trauma, and work to break down negative beliefs about yourself and who put them there. About 80% of our thoughts are our own and 20% is somebody else’s.
When we acknowledge and integrate our shadow self, we are accepting who we are. All our negative emotions and beliefs are easier to work through. Through that acknowledgement and the subsequent practices of reclaiming our power away from that trauma, we integrate it. When we acknowledge that all of our emotions are okay, even the negative ones, we integrate pieces of our shadow, and recognize ourselves as a whole person again. As we heal, we step into our power, and into alignment with our higher self and our higher purpose. We “ascend.”
Shadow Work Exercises
Utilizing various types of energy work like reiki, crystal healing, acupuncture, or physical movement therapies like somatic therapy, yoga, and dance can help re-align the emotional and physical bodies with the mind, and shake loose stagnant energy that can then be processed through more traditional types of therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy, trauma-informed talk therapy, etc.
You can also try mindfulness meditation- being still and in the present moment reduces racing thoughts, anxiety, and stress- and journaling your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Journals also keep a record of your progress and with prompts can lead to deep thought and self-discovery.
Purchase your Mom Boss Within Journal
Conclusion
We went over what shadow work is, how you know it is time for shadow work, and how to do shadow work. The benefits of doing shadow work include:
- more creativity
- deepening your intuition
- resilience
- higher self-esteem
Shadow work includes you integrating your unconscious psyche into your conscious reality and allowing your positive aspects to flourish. This is all to further your personal development. A happy, healthy YOU equals you being the best for your family.
As always,
Be You Confidently
Coaching Opportunity
Need help finding those pockets of time to work on your goals? Feeling disconnected from your purpose? Ready to welcome pleasure from stepping into your passion, aligning with your purpose, and leveling up? Schedule a coaching session today and let your journey to self-love begin.
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